It's Me Against The World Today

The Freak Has Mixed Feelings.
I'm sad, because I'm stuck in a "shelter"
where my only freedom comes behind a locked door.
Is that even freedom at all?
I have to hide my IM conversations from everyone,
but at least I'm having them again.
Suddenly, my friends are starting to care about me, or something.
That's a nice feeling,
too bad I didn't have that feeling during my first attempt at college.
I probably would've stayed.
But then again, would I have felt this way there too?
The girls on my floor all seemed so snobby,
and my RA's had absolutely no sympathy.
One of them kept trying to tell me how much more her life sucked than mine.
Okay, so it's sad that she was in foster care and lived in the ghetto,
but that didn't make me feel lucky.
My family situation isn't exactly enviable either.
So. My mom took me out again today.
I bought the original version of "The Shining" at WalMart.
All the horror movies are cheap now since it's almost October.
I feel like watching it right now,
but it's 11:00, and watching horror movies too late at night
has led to some terrifying hallucinations.
Not just dreams, but undescribable things on the walls,
and standing by the side of my bed.
Ah, what the hell, I'll go for it.
Horror movies always make me feel better,
because then I can think at the end,
"At least my life isn't THAT bad."
...But close. Kinda.

Oooh, PS. UC got my application! Now all I gotta do is wait for them to decide. That's the hard part. A stupid piece of paper could have the possibility to define the rest of my young life.